TNA Impact Wrestling Report – March 1st, 2012
We start off with a look back at the events that led to Sting losing his mind and challenging Bobby Roode to a match at Victory Road, as well as Kurt Angle cutting a very jolly promo about his thoughts on Jeff Hardy. From there we open the show proper as Kurt Angle comes out with cuecards that list the many reasons he attacked Jeff Hardy, why he hates Hardy, and why fans love him. Angle says Hardy has lots of hair and he doesn’t, he paints it all kinds of colors but having colored hair doesn’t make you a champion. The way Hardy dresses by painting his face and putting socks on his arms is embarrassing, while Angle dresses professionally. At events, he’ll be signing for fans and Hardy will show up late and all the fans leave him and flock to Hardy. That brings us to the girls who all love Jeff Hardy, which is fine because girls dig him too but he chooses to be a one woman man. But the biggest reasons is that there’s over a hundred different Kurt Angle action figures, a hundred posters, a hundred t-shirts, but when he goes into his son’s room, he sees Jeff Hardy pictures on the wall, he steps on a few Jeff Hardy action figures, and he goes to tuck his son in and see that he’s wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt. He rolls him over to kiss him goodnight, but he has makeup on his face, purple hair, and socks on his arms. Angle’s an Olympic gold medalist, yet Jeff Hardy is his son Cody’s hero. Everywhere he turns he sees constant reminders of Hardy and how much the fans love him, so there’s only one solution for Kurt Angle: Jeff Hardy has to get his ass out there now.
Hardy comes out and Angle tells him he just read the reasons he’s not the World Champion, and there’s only one solution: Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy at Victory Road, and that’s where Kurt Angle will destroy Jeff Hardy. Hardy responds by slapping Angle in the face and taking him down to pummel him with right hands. Al Snow and Simon Diamond come running out to pull Hardy off of Angle, but he goes back after him and Angle is forced to drag himself out of the ring while Hardy grabs a mic and tells Angle he’s on.
Bobby Roode is backstage reminding the Mystery Cameraman that he’s the World Heavyweight Champion, and what Sting did was unprofessional and bad for business. The guy running the show books himself into the main event when there’s so many other guys who deserve a title shot in the locker room, and it’s a disgrace. Austin Aries comes walking by and they have a little powwow: they’re both dominant champions, they’re both the top of the heap in their respective divisions, and Sting’s been trying to keep them both out of the spotlight. He hasn’t had one main event yet, but when he wrote his thoughts in 140 characters or less, it landed him in the doghouse. Roode asks Aries if he has a minute, and they walk off to discuss business.
Gauntlet Match: Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian vs AJ Styles
Before the match starts, AJ says that he doesn’t know what Daniels is holding over Kazarian’s head, but WHEN he beats both of them, it’s coming out in the open for everyone to hear. Daniels gets ready to tell AJ to forget about it, but Kazarian grabs the mic out of Daniels’ hand and says he’s on. So AJ slingshots over the top rope onto Daniels as soon as the words are out of Kazarian’s mouth, then he throws him into the ring and starts destroying him. AJ with a hard suplex, then a backbreaker followed by a gutbuster, and a delayed vertical suplex for 2. AJ takes a feinted kick at Kazarian, then punts Daniels in the ribs as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and AJ drills Daniels with a dropkick and then goes out to the floor to argue with Kazarian. Daniels blindsides AJ and spits at him, then sends him back inside and launches him into the air with a backdrop. Daniels with a stiff kick to the back of AJ, then whips him to the corner and AJ leapfrogs over him, but Daniels drills him with a straight right hand to the jaw and AJ goes down. Daniels sets for Last Rites, but AJ escapes and hits the Pelle Kick. AJ recovers and hits a couple of clotheslines and a springboard flying forearm. AJ with a fireman’s carry neckbreaker for 2 and then goes for the Styles Clash, but Daniels counters to an STO. Daniels slowly pulls himself up on the ropes, but Kazarian slides into the ring and hits the Fade To Black on AJ. The referee calls for the bells and disqualifies Daniels, but then Kazarian covers AJ right away and hooks the leg for 3.
Winner: Frankie Kazarian
Daniels is again speechless as he stares at Kazarian, who says “that’s a victory” before heading up the ramp.
Madison Rayne is backstage hanging a big portrait of Gail Kim on the wall, and Gail comes in and says that they both overreacted and she got her a present: a day for two at the spa. She can’t have it until tomorrow though, because first she has to get the other gift Gail got her: a match with ODB! Madison loves that one, and wants to just skip that and get to the other gift tomorrow.
ODB vs Madison Rayne
ODB goes after Madison and beats her up. Badly. She batters her from pillar to post, then rams her face first repeatedly into the turnbuckles. Madison goes down in the corner and ODB goes for a Bronco Buster, Madison lifts her boot to try and kick ODB in the crotch coming in, but one of them must have slightly miscalculated because Madison’s boot lands rather awkwardly up ODB’s ass. ODB repays her with a running ass splash in the corner, a series of shoulderblocks, and then hits the Bronco Buster without Madison’s boot going anywhere it shouldn’t. ODB gets Madison up in a firewoman’s carry and Gail goes to hit ODB with one of her title belts, but “drops” it and ODB hits a TKO for 3.
Gail “explains” what happened as Madison stares at her in confusion, then we look back at last week when Brandon Jacobs chokeslammed Bully Ray through a table. From there, we go backstage where Bubba is telling some backstage lady how bad she looks, and how embarrassed he is because of what James Storm keeps doing to him. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries walk in and Roode ask how he can blame Storm for him embarrassing himself, then Bubba says it’s as embarrassing as getting kicked in the balls by a guy with a painted face. Aries tells them to both relax because Sting’s screwing them both, and Roode agrees and says Bubba needs to get his head on straight.
Velvet Sky is backstage whining about getting screwed out of another title shot and says it’s not going to happen anymore. Angelina Love and Sarita come out and start making fun of her and shoving her around, Velvet decides to pick a fight with them and gets her ass kicked until Mickie James runs in dressed like an 80s aerobics instructor and chases them off. She asks Velvet if she’s okay, and a very upset Velvet says no, she’s not. Those two teams will face off later tonight.
Ric Flair is backstage with Gunner and Eric Bischoff, and he’s chewing out Garett because he came back when Flair told him not to. Flair says that if Garett shows up next week, it’s going to a whole new level and he’s only going to give him a week to realize he doesn’t have a place in Flair’s world. Garett says he appreciates the heads up, but it’s his life and hewalks off on them.
Bobby Roode, Austin Aries, and Bully Ray are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!
Roode, Bubba, and Aries come out to the ring and Roode says he’s the reason they’re all here and he’s the most dominant World Champion in the history of the company. Sting’s only an authority figure, not an active wrestler, and when he came out here and attacked the champ, he crossed the line. You don’t cross the champ, and you don’t book yourself into the main event of Victory Road, and tonight, he’s going to do what Sting should have and he declares he’s done. Bubba shows off his calves, then says that he thought this was all Storm’s fault, but he then realized that it’s all Sting’s fault because he let Brandon Jacobs into the Impact Zone, he let Brandon Jacobs jump the guardrail, he let Brandon Jacobs into the ring where he was able to chokeslam him through a table, and he caused Bubba the biggest embarrassment of his entire career, and he directs our attention to the Impacttron so we can see another replay of him going through a table at the hands of Brandon Jacobs. Bubba says that he and his calves are done. Now Aries gets the microphone and shushes everyone, then says that he’s been keeping his mouth shut and seeing where things are going, but it’s now clear that he’s another old guy who doesn’t know when to step out of the spotlight and he’s jealous of Roode for being a better World Champion than he was, that Bubba has more toughness in his calves than Sting has in his entire body, and Aries can do things in the ring that Sting can’t do in his dreams. He’s pissed people off everywhere he’s gone, and even though he’s beaten everyone who Sting has thrown in his path, he hasn’t gotten one main event, so he’s done too. The three of them take a seat in the ring and it looks like they’re doing a sit-in until Sting addresses them.
The lights go out and when they come back up, guess who’s in the ring with them? Sting says he was only playing mindgames when he said he was done. If they’re playing mindgames as well, then that’s one thing, but if they’re serious about being done, then they have to talk. Sting said he was going to kick the crap out of Roode at Victory Road, but if he doesn’t have a job, the World Title’s going to be vacated. Same with Aries and the X Division Title, and if Bubba sticks his finger in Sting’s face one more time, he’s going to bite it off and Bubba won’t have a paycheck anymore either. He asks them again if they’re done, and says that Aries will finally get his first main event tonight when he teams with Bubba and Roode to take on Samoa Joe, Brutus Magnus, and the man who is on the road to winning the World Title, James Storm. The lights go out, and Sting’s long gone when they come back up.
We go to another video of a teary Jesse Sorensen in the hospital saying that he knows he’s going to get better and he’s going to work at it, while Sorensen’s mom cries while telling him that she knows he wants to get back in the ring and she knows he’s going to get there. We then go to comments from Zema Ion, who is clearly very pleased with himself and says that he doesn’t feel bad at all because now he’s the #1 contender and everyone knows there’s a risk involved with getting in the ring and this isn’t ballet, and if anyone disagrees with him, he’ll moonsault onto them and break their neck too.
Zema Ion vs Shannon Moore
Moore gets control early, outmaneuvering Ion with a series of takedowns, but Ion counters an Irish whip by sliding under the bottom rope to the floor. Moore catches him off guard with a baseball slide, but Ion pulls him out to the floor and hits a clothesline before rolling Moore back into the ring and connecting with a missile dropkick. Moore blocks a slam and comes off the ropes, but Ion hot shots him on the top rope and then goes to the top. Moore dropkicks Ion and then goes up top with him and hits a Frankensteiner for 2. Moore goes for a moonsault, but Ion shakes the ropes and Moore hits the mat, then Ion follows with his back suplex into a facebuster thing that he needs a shorter name for and covers for the win.
Winner: Zema Ion
Ion grabs his hairspray and gives himself a shot, then we’re at commercial.
We see a video package about the history between Bully Ray and Abyss, and then it’s main event time!
World Champion Bobby Roode, X Division Champion Austin Aries & Bully Ray vs James Storm & World Tag Team Champions Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus
Magnus and Aries start us off and Aries uses his agility to evade the clutches of Magnus. Aries with a go behind into a waistlock, Magnus reverses to a wristlock but Aries picks his ankle and takes him down, spins around on Magnus’ back, and prances around the ring celebrating. Aries tries for a test of strength but can’t reach Magnus’ hand, so he kicks at Magnus’ legs, does a back and forth off the ropes, and cartwheels past a shot from Magnus. He runs around celebrating again and turns around right into a big clothesline from Magnus. Roode tags and and Storm begs for a tag on his side, so Magnus obliges and Roode bails out to the floor as we go to commercial.
We’re back and Bubba is beating up James Storm in the corner. Storm wanders out into the middle of the ring and Bubba beats him up there too, but Storm suddenly starts firing back, takes Bubba to the mat with an armbar, and stomps on his hand before tagging in Joe. They slowly circle each other before just going toe to toe in the middle of the ring. Joe gets the best of that and comes off the ropes into a back elbow from Bubba, but another run to the ropes and he takes Bubba out with a leaping knee. Aries tags in and Joe launches him into the air with a backdrop, tags in Magnus to hit a big boot to Aries, then hits a back senton and Magnus covers for 2. Roode tags in but gets hiptossed by Magnus, who quickly tags in Storm and Roode immediately bails out to the floor. He slowly makes his way back into the ring while telling the referee to back Storm off, then tags in Aries. Storm slingshots Aries over the top and into the ring, then tags out to Samoa Joe, who just peppers Aries with right hands. Joe misses a charge into the corner and Aries tries to follow him in with the IED, but Joe casually walks out of the corner and Aries hits nothing. Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Bubba and Roode come in and go after Joe to break it up, and then Aries hits a crucifix bomb and tags out to Bubba, who hits a neckbreaker and bashes Joe with a double axhandle. Roode tags in and chokes Joe on the ropes (good thing he doesn’t work for WWE), then takes him to the corner and a hard chop sends Joe to the mat. Roode with a snapmare and the Perfect necksnap and then he spits at Storm to draw him into the ring so Bubba can illegally come in and nail Joe and cover for 2. Aries back in and he puts the boots to Joe before coming off the second rope with an elbowdrop for 2. Bubba puts his boot on the top rope and Aries rams Joe into it, but Joefires up and destroys all three of them before Aries takes Joe down by the leg and tags out to Bubba. Joe lays in more right jabs, but Bubba lays him out with a clothesline and makes another tag out to Roode, who arrogantly stares down at Joe before nailing him and then cheapshotting Magnus off the apron. Roode charges Joe in the corner but, as you’d know if you’ve ever seen a Samoa Joe match, he runs right into the STJoe and Joe tags out to Storm. Storm cleans house on Aries, hitting a clothesline in the corner, then knocks Bubba off the ring apron before tearing into Roode with clotheslines and a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP. Bubba comes in and attacks Storm, beating him down in the corner, and Aries tries a missile dropkick to Bubba but Joe moves and Aries hits Bubba. Joe and Magnus hit their finish on Aries, Roode comes in and hits a spinebuster on Magnus, but Storm comes in and hits the Last Call on Roode and pins him for 3.
Winners: James Storm, Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus
Great match, great finish, and fun postmatch antics as Bubba comes in and lays out all three babyfaces with a steel chair. He stands over Storm and says he ain’t making it to Lockdown because he’s going to be the #1 contender, he’s taking Storm out, and he’s going to take his good buddy Roode’s World Title.
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