John Cena’s Freestyle – 12-15-2002
Suprise, we right here before your eyes.
All you women want me, I’m the envy of all you guys.
That’s cause you rely on flippin burgers, and serving fries.
Your girls with us, I’m about to find her bra size.
It’s a new era, a new message that we’re sending.
It starts tonight, right here at Armaggeddon!
No sweatin, I don’t care who I piss off.
From Stephanie McMahon, straight over to Eric Bishoff
We never soft, we never leave a man standing.
You either deal with me, or with Bling Bling Buchanan.
We the mans son, and we attacking this arrangement.
The new centerpiece of World Wrestling Entertainment.
And for all you foes who think you can throw blows.
Ya’ll end up like Marcia Brady saying, “Oh my nose!”
And I’m out!
John Cena’s Freestyle – 01-19-2003
Yo, Yo, Yo!! Thuganomics Style!
Naw, naw, Put down your tea potties, get away from your John Hancocks,
I’m rockin this Thuganomics style,
Yo. Besides open mics, one thing that gets me boiled.
Is an old school 30 man battle royal,
I’m a win this, I’m a make my impression,
Show Vinny Mac that I got Ruthless Aggression!
The odds were even, until you chose me,
Now it’s 29 dudes and 1 ruthless MC.
Yo it doesn’t matter kid, cuz I’ll rip yo nose off,
I can battle you naked with no clothes on!!
Kid, wutchu talkin’ bout?
3 reasons I’m a win this:
Reason number 1: I cut you up like cucumbers.
Reason number 2, that you can’t approach this.
I be choking you like Sprewell be choking coaches.
Reason number 3 is hard for me to explain to ya,
but I’m a win tonight and go on to Wrestlemania.
The royal rumble’s just another test that I got to pass,
Y’all dudes are like “Keep it one leg’d, you half a__ed”
Yo.. whatcha talkin bout kid? You can’t touch this,
Throw the double clutches, if you down with untouches,
Yo it’s my year, I suggest you take the year off.
I’m sick like Tyson was when he bit Holyfield’s ear off.
It doesn’t matter kid. Yo, you should stop defeat me,
My style’s like a swollen penis, you can’t beat me
John Cena’s Freestyle – 04-27-2003
The list of legends that held the title now includes me bro.
I’ll be a better champion than Bruno Sammartino.
This is Thuganomics, I got opponents home in crutches,
I’m iron like the Sheik, I got you in my camel clutches.
I lost my mind like Mankind, pulling socks from his ass crack,
I’m straight, you’re Dude Love so get off the Cactus Jack.
I’ll take your varsity letters and medals,
I’ll leave you mangled and hurt,
I’m attacking from all angles, you’ll be calling me Kurt.
I’m wearing this Yankees jersey cause Massachusetts makes me sick,
You don’t like what I’m saying, you can suck my _____.
John Cena’s Freestyle – 10-19-2003
So Kurt Angle tried to diss me, but he just came of soft.
He’s like Sigfried and Roy and I’m a tiger that’s pissed off.
This is John Cena, it’s time to get dirty at No Mercy.
And you don’t want to mess with me, I’m like a prostitute with herpes.
Thought he was funny with his midget that he couldn’t take his hands off.
You want to see a real joke, have Kurt Angle take his pants off.
He claims intelligence. That’s impossible, his head is hollow.
His t-shirt used to say “You Suck,” but they had to switch it cause he swallows.
You want to show your true colors Kurt, then dress up like a chick.
And stop acting like were married, get the hell off my ____.
This whole PPV is a__ backwards, the main event is on first!
I come through the curtains like a fetus, the rest of them are just afterbirth.
Nate Jones, Matt Morgan, they dont even stand a chance!
I guess Shane and Kane gonna have to make some room in that ambulance.
And A-train, Brock, they need to talk to the gravedigger.
I’m burying both of those giants, they need to make that grave bigger!
John Cena survive alone, I don’t need no frickin’ stable!
I wonder if I can trade in my four partners for a one night stand with Sable?
Oh and Big Show, don’t think that I forgot about you homey!
He’s a giant! Well I’m a giant whistle, so go ahead and blow me.